Florida Strikes Again...Alligator Snatches 2 Year Old Off The Shore at Disney

Orlando Sentinel – A 2-year-old boy who was attacked and dragged into the water by an alligator on the shores of Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa Tuesday night was still missing early Wednesday morning.

Deputies are in the water and air, calling it a search-and-rescue operation.

“Right now we’re going to bring in some fresh eyes and continue with the search,” said Jeff Williamson, a spokesman for the Orange County Sheriff’s Office. “Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.”

Demings said the Nebraska family of five was relaxing on the shoreline when the alligator attacked the boy. The father entered the water and tried to pry the child from the gator, but was unsuccessful. He had scratches on his hands after the ordeal.

Parents then alerted a nearby lifeguard that an alligator had attacked the boy. Officials estimated it was between four and seven feet long.

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God damn fucking Florida. I mean there’s absolutely nothing funny about this story – a 2 year old is almost certainly dead, and a family has to live with the memory of watching him get snatched by a 7 foot alligator and dragged out to sea while they were hopelessly trying to stop it. More of just a public service announcement for all our Florida readers – just get out of there man. Pack your stuff and move. Time to cancel Florida.

As if all the other wild shit down there wasn’t enough, the alligators have had some kind of spiritual awakening and are trying to make a name for themselves. Aggressive gators with human bodies in their mouths. Scumbag sneak attackers grabbing toddlers off the shoreline. Their prehistoric king has risen from the dead and is trolling golf courses for victims.

It’s freaking gator anarchy out here guys. Get away while you can.